Tag Archives: motivation

A new route

A few months ago, my best friend moved into a temporary apartment while she was looking for a new place.  My husband has been bugging me since then to take a walk to visit her instead of driving because he really likes the path that goes in that direction.

We finally went last week, and it really was worth it.  It reminded me of why I like living in this particular small neighborhood that I live in, because there were several spots where you could only just see the houses or barely hear the cars from the path, so it really felt like you were in the woods.  And there was this lovely little bridge over a small creek in the middle of nowhere, the kind of place where it would be wonderful to just set up a camp chair and hang out for a while.

The last part of the trail was kind of difficult though, because there was a very steep hill that was followed by a very long but slight slope.  So I ran out of breath and couldn’t catch back up for a while.

I’m not entirely sure if this particular hike was the reason that my knee is acting up again.  It’s doing some stranger things than before, so I’m trying to do light duty for a few days to make it feel better.  The problems with my knees are making me more upset every time, because if anything derails this entire plan (other than my own problems with concentration/motivation) it’s going to be my knees.  And that’s super discouraging.

But the walk itself did remind me of exactly why I want to do this, so that was a plus.

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Making good new habits

It’s so impossible to make a habit. Though I need to stop trying to make more than one at a time.

I’ve mostly been doing well with eating when I get up. Though I haven’t fixed my sleep schedule yet, so calling it “breakfast” doesn’t really work. But I get up and drink a shake and that’s alright. Except when I don’t remember to buy milk, or in the case of last Friday I was leaving town so there was no point in buying milk.

But the thing is, if I get thrown off by even the slightest bit, not only do I end up ruining that day but several days after. Friday I had no milk, so I got up and the plan was to eat something else. But I didn’t find anything I wanted and so I just didn’t.

And that knocked me off kilter again and I still haven’t gotten back from it. Hopefully tomorrow.

Sleep is the same way. I’ll be doing well, going to bed by midnight, getting up by 10 (those are the vague times I set for myself, because I rarely sleep that entire time) and then one night I’ll need to stay up for work or I’ll sleep in one day because I don’t feel well and boom, right back to square one.

It’s frustrating. I’m starting to feel like I have no will power to actually make a change in my life. I’m not sure how to get that either. I know all the logical health reasons I have to change all of these things. I know how much better I feel when I am taking care of myself.

And yet the second it becomes difficult, I drop off again. Not to mention that it always requires conscious thought. I’d like the whole “drinking a bottle of water a day” thing to be something I do without thinking much. I just get a bottle from the fridge and drink it as I work and done. But I have to really make myself. I have to actively make myself go to bed and get up, because I don’t get tired and I don’t wake up wanting to get out of bed.

I’ve got no idea how to fix any of that.

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Stuff and junk

I basically have nothing to add this week. I’ve generally decided that my first step is not actually to walk every day (though that is PART of my first step). My first step should be to take care of these health issues that are making everything more difficult for me.

So, in order of importance, I have to figure out how to deal with:
1. My issues with sleep, and getting on a sleep schedule that works for me.
2. My problems with not being hydrated enough ever.
3. Eating a more well balanced diet in general and learning to love some trail foods even off the trail.
4. The migraines and light sensitivity.

Most of these I can’t get real medical intervention for until December, because my insurance would consider them pre-existing conditions (yeah, we don’t need health care reform). But I can take a few steps myself.

My the hardest part is figuring out this sleep problem. It’s three decades worth of problems and I’ve tried to solve it in multiple ways but just never quite manage. I know every single tip in the book on sleep hygiene and everything people have to say about how to get better sleep. I know them all, trust me.

So now I just have to figure out what little piece of the puzzle I’m missing…and it’s probably just will power.

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Everything costs something

I’m starting to worry about the costs involved in this hike. Not just the costs for gear and food, which will be substantial, but then there’s the fact that for around six months while I’m on the trail I won’t be earning any income.

Of course, my bills don’t stop while I’m out. Sure, I won’t be buying random stuff because I won’t be at stores. But I also still have to pay my health insurance (it becomes MORE important at that point). I still have to keep paying my student loans. My husband will be living in our house paying our mortgage.

So now I feel like I have to save up not just the money for gear and food, but also six months worth of my contributions to our bills. Which is difficult because right now I’m still in the hole (majorly) from my last film project.

This is definitely a “what was I thinking” kind of day.

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Progress, or lack there of

It’s really hard for me to keep up with my plan for walking every day. It’s just too easy for me to succumb to my urge to stay inside. Or to say “I have so many things to do, when I finish X, I’ll go.” And then of course I procrastinate on “x.”

I convince myself not to go because it’s raining and I don’t own a raincoat yet. That’s probably going to be my first purchase, since my sister came over this weekend and gave me some new shoes. But I’m not going to have the cash for a good raincoat for a while, and I’m the type of person who likes to buy quality items in the first place so I’m not replacing them so often.

I’d love to actually get the raincoat that I’ll take with me on the trail. I’ve got some I like from REI and L.L. Bean, but they’re so expensive compared to how cheap I usually am. I’ve got to get over that.

I did walk a couple miles on Sunday, and probably at least a mile on Saturday. I went to the USA Science and Engineering Festival in D.C. and the exhibit hall was HUGE. I was mostly there to look around and have fun with my sister, but I also stopped by a booth run by the U.S. Forest Service and picked up some random information they had. I haven’t looked through it, but there were some things about identifying plants and animals and stuff. The idea was mostly for kids going out for day hikes, but I figure it can’t hurt.

On Sunday we also walked down the Smithsonian Museum of American Art for a concert by the Gamer Symphony Orchestra. Then we decided to be good and walk the few blocks to Metro Center to get the orange train, rather than riding on the red line a stop and transferring.

Sometimes I make good choices.

But I stand by my tweet from last week – if it was socially acceptable for me to walk around the trails here in my pajamas, I would be walking every day, no problem.

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