Tag Archives: second thoughts

Music

One thing I ponder sometimes is if other people bring any kind of music player with them while they’re hiking. Obviously that requires a battery and charging, so that’s not really ideal. Plus, it would possibly make you less aware of your surroundings which seems bad.

Maybe just listen for part of the day? It just seems like it would be nice sometimes to have a little bit of music to accompany your thoughts. But maybe part of the point is to be completely alone with your thoughts.

In other news, my leg has gotten worse again over the last week. Went back to get more tests and eliminate some possibilities, will be back at the doctor again today, and physical therapy again tomorrow. I did discover that I have a bone spur on my hip, which doesn’t bode well for this hiking thing.

Sometimes I keep telling myself that I should tackle everything one small problem at a time. But it seems sometimes like everything is so connected that I can’t really change my life and get better unless I change everything all at once in a huge revolution.

And then I wonder if I’ll even be the same person at that point, and if I want to go that far.

Which is way to existential a thought for this early in the morning.

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Everything costs something

I’m starting to worry about the costs involved in this hike. Not just the costs for gear and food, which will be substantial, but then there’s the fact that for around six months while I’m on the trail I won’t be earning any income.

Of course, my bills don’t stop while I’m out. Sure, I won’t be buying random stuff because I won’t be at stores. But I also still have to pay my health insurance (it becomes MORE important at that point). I still have to keep paying my student loans. My husband will be living in our house paying our mortgage.

So now I feel like I have to save up not just the money for gear and food, but also six months worth of my contributions to our bills. Which is difficult because right now I’m still in the hole (majorly) from my last film project.

This is definitely a “what was I thinking” kind of day.

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Weather

I think the hardest thing is going to be dealing with the summer heat. Which is making me wonder if going Northbound will actually be better. But the thing is, no matter what, I’ll be hiking in the summer. There’s no way around that part, and it will take all summer no matter what.

So I just have to figure out how to deal. I’m sure better clothing will help, stuff that is designed to help you keep cool on hot days. Wearing shorts might help, but I’m not sure if I can handle doing shorts and being terrified of ticks.

But going out this weekend just to walk the couple hundred feet or so to the Farmer’s Market and back was almost insufferable. The bright light is definitely part of it, and I think that won’t be as big a deal because I’m familiar with the type of woods and it’s as much bright direct sunlight.

It’s possible having a destination will help too, because at the Farmer’s Market it’s a lot of standing around and looking at things, and being crowded by people (which I don’t handle well).

But I’m definitely at a phase of “I don’t know if I can do this.” And I need to figure out a way out of it.

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